If Characters in a Romance Could Talk...

 

“Listen, Mitch, don’t you come whining to me about your author torturing you to entertain her readers. I’m the poster boy of mistreated characters. All you lost was the heroine to another hero. You lost Faith but you didn’t lose your faith. Me, I was murdered so my wife could be the heroine in the next book in the series. While she got a better husband than I was, all I got was an ignominious grave. That’s as bad as it gets.”

“Sidney, you are no hero. You’re a lousy weasel. What did you expect?”

“Listen up, Boston Buddy Boy: I didn’t write the script. Do you think I had any say in my actions?  Any reader could have read the last page and clearly seen that everything was predetermined."

“But you were a bad guy, Sidney. Mandy deserved better than you.”

“I was bad but I wanted to change. Do you know how many times I prayed under the stars for redemption and forgiveness? How many times between pages I asked the Lord to be born again in the spirit? Heavens, Mitch, I was in a Christian novel. I wanted to be revived in Christ. I wanted to use my wealth to help widows, abused women, and the orphans coming west on those orphan trains. I wanted to give my adorable daughters the best life and education possible. I wanted to take the whole family on the Grand Tour of Europe.” 

“You wanted to be a hero but that was not your lot in life. Just man up and face reality.” 

“I prayed and prayed, oh how I prayed Mitch, and do you know what? Our prayers have no greater effect than the prayers of real humans.” 

“Sidney, bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. So it is in real life, so it is in fiction.”

 “I know that but Michael Davidson got a second chance in "The Bossy Bridegroom". Why not me?” 

“Because God didn’t like you. Period.” 

“I can’t believe that, Mitch. I just can’t.”  

“Well then, maybe John Calvin was right. Maybe all life is predetermined. But even so we still must live life as if there is freewill. Besides, we are only fictional characters.” 

“Mitch, when someone is reading our story, we are as real as anything else in all of reality. Ultimately, what is real is what is being perceived or can be perceived in a conscious mind. What is a rock floating in deep space by itself? That rock can only be real to a being who can perceive it as real. It can’t be real in any meaningful sense if it were all that existed.” 

“Sidney, you’re a philosopher, there’s no doubt about that. So, to paraphrase the Bard: of your philosophy make some use. And get over it!”

 

Mitch Dennehy, is a character in “A Passion Most Pure” and he is talking to Sidney Gray a character in “Sharpshooter in Petticoats”.